Never Gonna Dance Like This Again
by SabelCocoa
Summary: Stefan reminiscences about his short time with Cole and music. Unreliable Narrator. Stefan Bekowsky/Cole Phelps.


**Never Gonna Dance Like This Again**

I dragged my blanket over my chest and seemed to fall into the warm beige cotton. I don't remember turning the radio on but I heard it drifting in from the kitchen where it always sat. The tune was torturous.

 _"Come on and dance Stefan."  
_ _"I'm fine on the couch actually."  
_ _"Come on, you love this song and you know it!"  
_ _"Fine. Your going to be the death of me Cole."_

I picked up a pillow and tried to block out of whining but the trumpet still presided. I stumbled out of my warm position and treaded on the wooden floor I used to glide on.

 _"Cole, I don't spin like that."  
_ _"Are you joking Stefan? You're graceful as hell, you're also really stiff right now. Relax, it's just us."_

I used my fist to end the radio's upbeat tune, the static slowly fizzled out of existence. Its rhythm just didn't fit the house it filled. I stared off into the empty space of my kitchen, feeling slightly dazed as my eyes roamed the metal steel of my appliances. I decided to rummage through the cabinet for some coffee. The late time didn't mean a thing to the crippling caffeine addiction that consumed me.

 _"You should try drinking tea instead of coffee. It has caffeine too but it's better for you."  
_ _"I wouldn't be too sure about that."_

My hand landed upon an unopened square package in the place of where my coffee grounds used to reside. I reached for the mysterious package and brought it to eye level to read the label. It was Green Tea but I wasn't aware I kept any in the house. I examined the back and saw _Just try it_ written in perfect penmanship. I placed it back on the shelf. I wasn't all that thirsty anymore. I slowly slipped back into the living room and collapsed on the couch again. It doesn't feel as warm as it did when I left it.

 _"Are you comfortable?"  
_ _"Yes Stefan, I'm good. I miss being held like this, we just never seem to have time anymore."  
_ _"I love you Cole."  
_ _"I love you too."_

Silence filled the room with the exception of my deep breaths. As I listened, they became so rhythmic. I stopped as soon as I heard the agonizing pattern.

 _"Stefan, come over here."  
_ _"Yes?"  
_ _"Glenn Miller is playing."  
_ _"You're adorable Cole."  
_ _"Yeah, yeah. Shut up and dance with me."_

I've never been a big fan of music, something about the ceaseless metronome seemed off to me. I hated dancing as much as the music that accompanied it. I don't understand the mental flow between two people, the bond formed through the beat. How people didn't step all over their partner was beyond me.

 _"I love dancing with you Stefan. We're never off foot or track."  
"Maybe we're made for each other."_

 _"I know you're joking but maybe we are."_

I understand love even less than I understand music. The ebb of emotion between two people. I've never felt like that before, I am starting to wonder if I ever will. It's not likely.

 _"Are you okay?"  
_ _"Of course Stefan, why wouldn't I be?"  
_ _"You seem a little off today. Anything important happen?"  
_ _"Not really. I'm probably just tired, haven't been getting enough sleep lately."  
_ _"You know you can tell me anything, right?"  
_ _"Yes baby, I know."_

I felt like a strong drink was in order for this particular moment but not even the promise of the alcohol burning its way down my throat would get me in the cold again. The blanket was so much nicer.

 _"What's this blankets story?"  
"What do you mean Cole?"  
"It looks old and worn. Everything has a story, when did you get it?"  
"When I was little from my grandmother. She liked to knit before she died."  
"I'm sorry."  
_ _"It was a long time ago."  
_ _"Still."  
_ _"What's your story?"  
_ _"Very long."  
_ _"We have time."  
_ _"One day, not today."  
_ _"Can I convince you otherwise."  
_ _"I don't think so Stefan."_

I shifted my gaze out the window and examined the glistening stars. They sparkled in the dark cloudless night sky.

 _"You have such bright eyes Cole."  
_ _"You have such dark ones."  
_ _"They're beautiful."  
_ _"So are yours."_

I always wonder if this is what loneliness feels like. It has never bothered me before and I'm still not sure if it bothers me now. The quiet is so easy to get lost in and I don't think I mind the maze of silence has lured me into.

 _"Come over Cole, it's too quiet without you."  
"I'm on my way. Maybe just turn on the radio until I get there."  
"Okay, I'll be waiting. I love you."  
_ _"Love you too."_

This silence feels different though.

 _"Cole. Cole! Please answer me, please don't do this."_

This silence seems a little more permanent than before.

 _"I'm sorry Bekowsky. He was a great detective. All of Los Angeles will mourn his death."_

This time you're not just on your way home.

 _"I'm not ready for you to go Cole. I want you to tell me your story, you promised me that."_

But I don't mind the loneliness. Because I've never been in love. And I never like the down beat of a song. Never enjoyed a mellow saxophone that carried the feet of my partner and I. I've never lost the thing I've loved the most.

 _"Cole, I need you."_

I've never had to say goodbye.

 _"I love you."_

Never, until now.

 _"Goodbye, Cole."_

* * *

 _"Left foot... right foot...Up- Stefan, you can dance perfectly fine. I don't need to teach you anything."_

 _"I used to dance with my mother when I was little,didn't know I remembered any of it though. I've always loved music, something about the mood and rhythm."_

 _"Ooh, I can tell. You're really good, maybe you should be teaching me."_

 _"No, I think this proves something."_

 _"And what is that?"_

 _"We're perfect together."_

 **THE END**

 **NOTE:**

The radio on at the start of the story connects to the story's end. Cole told Stefan to turn the radio on while he was waiting, so Stefan did. And still does even though Cole is dead.


End file.
